“I wonder when ‘I love me’ is enough.” 

Okay, so, I’m a Demi Lovato fan.

Listen to the lyrics of her song, “I Love Me,” and you’ll hear ALL the negative scripts we run for ourselves. It’s an incredibly challenging, sometimes impossible task, to fully love ourselves. 

For some of us, it seems that no matter how much effort we put into cultivating, appreciating, and accepting who we are and the life we live, we still have doubts.

Why? 

We let the transcripts of the past determine the script we’ll write of our future.

The scenarios are as varied as we are: it’s a parent who, even to this day, let’s you know that you’re not as talented as your older sister. Maybe it’s the voice of a critical “friend” from high school. Perhaps it’s an old lover who made an off-handed comment about the way you looked in that moment. Chances are that self-trash talk is a combination of the voices that, once upon a time, told you that you weren’t good enough.

While it’s easy to assume that these moments are firmly in the rear-view mirror, they can and do, influence you today. In addition to affecting your personal life, the voices and scripts from your past have a profound effect on your career potential. 

Career skills, like all interpersonal skills require a foundation of confidence. So, of course, when you’re constantly replaying messages of inadequacy or “less-than-ism,” you end up running on a hamster wheel of doubt and self-defeat. 

It doesn’t have to be that way. 

The first step in quieting the critical voices of the past is to recognize that what was said about you does not reflect who you are today. Even if there was some small nugget of truth hidden in the ugliness of those comments, realize that you’re a different person than you were then. You’re a different person from the person you were yesterday. Let that awareness settle in your bones.

You can choose to continually accept the words and actions that harm you, or you can cast them off and rewrite. We’re all, always, a work in progress. Of course you’re good enough, and of course you have the power to be your best, most spectacular self. Write that.

Understand this, your value as a person is determined by your humanity. It is inherent. No one gets to ascribe it to you or take it away should you f*ck up along the way. And, >newsflash< you will f*ck up along the way; hopefully, many, many times. 

It’s time for some tough self love. Understanding and awareness are the key to moving forward, building your skills and crafting the life and career you actually want and appreciate. Assess how those voices and scripts from your past shape your personal and work life now. Think about the things you’ve avoided because of fear, or less-than-ism. Take classes, read, gain other perspectives. Be your own hero. 

And, to paraphrase my good friend Demi, “You’re a 10 out of 10, even when you forget it.”

LB Adams is the Founder of Practical Dramatics, headquartered in Charleston, SC.  Her company is responsible for providing stellar training events that utilize theatre strategies to help humans grow more profitable conversations with other humans, To find out more about public speaking & presentation training, please reach out to us at 843-771-073. AND, check out Practical Dramatics’ YouTube channel to see LB’s interviews with business leaders driving industry in her show, Snack-Sized Business.