Taking Up Space
What does taking up space really look like?
We hear this phrase a lot, to “take up space,” particularly where women are concerned, and especially where marginalized women are concerned. We encourage women to stand in their power, to not make themselves small, and, to take up space. But what does that really mean? What does “taking up space” even look like?
About three months ago, I started going to the gym regularly in the early mornings. If you’ve ever been to a chain gym, the layout is pretty standard. There is the free weight section, the cardio machines section, the cross fit area, and the rest of the floor space is taken up by rows and rows of weightlifting machines. On one of those early weekday mornings, I saw a woman put down a mat in one of the aisles between weightlifting machines, and begin exercising. She was alternating mat work with machine work. Theoretically, there’s nothing wrong with that, however, where she put herself forced others to move around her to walk down the row or to use the nearby machines.
The first time I saw her do this, I thought it was kind of rude, or at least inconsiderate to the other gym goers. I’ve seen her do it multiple times since, and every time I would mentally “tsk” at her lack of care of other gym members.
Until the last time.
The last time I saw her, my savage side stopped my judgy side in it’s tracks with “Why the f*ck are you so concerned with where this woman puts herself? She’s hurting no one and so what if people have to move a little to one side.”
My savage side was right. And then she whispered, “Maybe this is what “taking up space” really looks like in the world.” Maybe taking up space is more than just being present in a room. Maybe it’s literally occupying a space when other people would prefer that you didn’t, even if it seems “rude.” Perhaps it’s doing the thing you need to do first, and allowing what other people want or need to come in second. Maybe it’s inhabiting the exact space you choose, especially if it’s in a place that is historically male-dominated.
Does it look or sound a little inconsiderate? Maybe, but again, so what – why do I, or women in general, always have to be perfectly polite?
What if “taking up space” wasn’t just a tag line at a women’s leadership conference, but a real, tangible, literal thing we women could do? And what if instead of judging other women for doing so, we congratulated them and admired their forward thinking?
I don’t know this woman. I’ve never spoken to her or even really made eye contact with her. I do admire her. I absolutely admire the unapologetic way she’s taking space, using it and making it her own. She’s taught me a valuable lesson, and I am a grateful learner.
LB Adams is the CEO of Practical Dramatics, LLC, and communication strategies consultant. She is an award-winning speaker and author.