Public Speaking: What You Give vs. What They Receive

As a person who has built a career speaking in front of others, there are few lessons so hard to understand as this: what you give them is not what they will receive. 

People are universes unto themselves, full of experiences, filters and points of view we, individually, cannot begin to recreate. So why would we think that everyone would see, taste, feel, hear and ingest exactly as we do? It’s not possible and yet, understanding that chasm of subjectiveness opens up other worlds of understanding.

In working with clients preparing to produce their first big event or keynote, this give/receive paradigm is always an evolving conversation. Understanding that what we want them to have is undeniably different from what they will actually take away. Of course, a handout is a handout and if you’ve offered them a white paper on “Six Ways to Build a Bigger Purple Widget,” then that’s exactly what they’ll get. We’re not talking about the tangible hard goods. What we’re talking about is more ephemeral and is the meat and potatoes of great public speaking. It’s the information and ideas delivered with energy/zeal/confidence that become your message.

Some of this reflects our own fears and insecurities. 

One client, a real estate professional, was loathe to speak about her achievements for fear of seeming “arrogant.” She was about to speak in front of her peers from across the country and it was appropriate and necessary to provide context for her bona fides. She needed to set the table for them so they could choose what they needed from her in order to buy in to her. We worked hard at make her comfortable and confident in a way that still felt authentic.

Another client, a fitness trainer, producing her first event for women in her community, wanted to “prove to women…” and show them what they “should be doing…” We honed her script so it was less about lecturing and preaching than offering an alternative. Once we found the right words, the entire presentation started to fall in line because she was able to step back from what she wanted her audience to walk out the door with and relax into what she was providing to the audience.

The importance of word choices cannot be overstated.

Ultimately, people will receive what they’re open to receiving. Sometimes you get very lucky and your audience will get something you couldn’t have fathomed giving them. Enjoy that glorious moment! Your presentation shouldn’t be a static thing. Learn from every opportunity for feedback and constantly evolve.

It’s your job to prepare and to hone your presentation, to fill it with as much tactical information as well as personality, inspiration, aspiration and energy that the time and space will contain. Then, let it go because the second after you speak, your presentation no longer belongs to you - it belongs to the audience.

LB Adams is the Founder of Practical Dramatics, headquartered in Charleston, SC.  Her company is responsible for providing stellar training events that utilize theatre strategies to help humans grow more profitable conversations with other humans, To find out more about public speaking & presentation training, please reach out to us at 843-771-0753