Welcome to Adulting: A/K/A Self Leadership
Forget all the memes and social posts about the perils, pitfalls and hardships of being a grown, formed, legally attuned adult. We know that it’s not all “get to do whatever you want, however you want,” no matter how it looked from the younger side.
Being an adult, as we learn, is packed with responsibilities and accountability. We become responsible for, and accountable to other people for a myriad of reasons. Kids are responsible for keeping track of their book bag and hopefully not pooping themselves.
Self leadership is a blanket term social scientists use to describe the aggregation of soft skills that mark the transition from childhood (even as it lasts into our 20’s) to self-governing adult. It means that we’re now capable of setting our alarm clock and actually getting up and beginning the day without a parent banging on, or bellowing at our door. It means that we have amassed a collection of social skills (some more than others…), and understand generally how to function and thrive in society, without someone holding our hand and constantly walking us through it. It means realizing that your parents weren’t totally wrong about everything, and that forgetting to turn off the lights really is wasteful.
It means you get a say in the thermostat settings.
Yay adulting!
It also means that if you don’t pay your bills, you are responsible for the loss of your electricity/water/home/etc. Paying your bills means that you need to earn a living (assuming you’re not independently wealthy and living off the interest). Earning a living means that you have some skills for which other people will pay you, and that you’ve come by those skills through experience, talent and/or hard work.
Time management, communication and social skills, self discipline, work ethic, and more are all part of the greater self leadership collective. As much as we might want to stomp our feet and hurl ourselves on the ground when things don’t go our way, we don’t. We’ve learned better. We’ve adopted more successful ways to move ourselves through the world and to get what we want for our selves. Kudos to us!
In the next series of articles, we’re going to examine three specific self leadership skills: Understanding when to speak and when to be quiet, embracing conflict as a path to growth, and upgrading our interior dialogues.
I hope you’ll set your alarm, turn off the TV, and take the journey with me.
LB Adams is the CEO of Practical Dramatics, LLC, and communication strategies consultant. She is an award-winning speaker and author.